Ladies and gentlemen, gather around because we need to have a little chat about our resident elephant named Whitney and the circus she’s created for shits and giggles.!

Dear Queen Whitney,

I feel like it’s my divine duty to send you an honest message about the destruction of the ECSO your hubris brings.  Sarcasm aside, a bitterness thicker than a monthly subscription to any drama, has taken root. I mean, do you not see the comedy of errors unfolding here?

After Morgan’s reign of terror, a peaceful tranquility invaded the agency, courtesy of a genuinely good guy taking the reins. Yet here we are, juggling your soap opera of a 15-year affair that became the business of the agency around the time Chip threw on a sheriff badge! Back in 2019, I warned Chip as an outside observer about the havoc this could wreak. He denied the existence of any relationship other than business with you. But lo and behold, you have provided enough fodder for the agency, with more interest than a reality show marathon.

Who knew adultery could be secondary entertainment as the ECSO’s unofficial side gig? Sure, it was scandalous, but honestly, I couldn’t care less who Chip alleges to cozy up with unless his wife decided to deliver a knockout punch. Like all dedicated Southern belles, I thought if you became too much of an issue, Susan would just give you to a swift kick to the curb. And let’s go over the totally insane reality of your arrogant entitlement.

As a wife, I’m repulsed by you. As any monogamous woman would be, but you push your presence. You inflict all those who witness the spectacle of Chitney. The local reporters assumed this scandal was something all parties involved were ok with and for a while there, everything went swimmingly in the ECSO without this scandalous headline in sight.

And then – bam! The birth of your shady little foundation. The one throwing accounting off like a drunken cheerleader at a football game. I suspect all sorts of malfeasance where that’s concerned, and while I play Sherlock, whispers continues about the various ways you fucked up this agency. I’m keeping tabs on your little crew, so good luck figuring out who has been sweet-talking behind the scenes! Your entire life story? Oh sweetheart, it’s very mediocre to tell you the truth but I know every detail – from your formative years at Bailey Elementary to Escambia High and even your short attendance at UWF. Wait-for-it, you attended for nearly three years, yet came out without a diploma. So your education matches the value of a collection of napkins.

This really poses a dilemma for those who actually work hard and want to climb the career ladder-the right way. You insist people must honor your title as “Chief” but that just shows how much you disrespect that very structure and ranking system. You spit on people who started low and rose through the ranks without sleeping their way to the top. You leap frog over diligent workers by putting your self on display at every press opportunity. Honestly this narrative puts any soap opera to shame!

And let’s go over the totally insane reality of your arrogant entitlement. You don’t like your husband? Leave the poor bastard! Seriously, if Chip won’t kick you to the curb himself, it speaks volumes that you’re likely an entertaining sidekick but never a leading lady.

Also, sorry—not sorry—but have you entertained the legal fallout of your position in this agency? I’m talking about serious jeopardy here! Your paperwork is about as solid as a wet fart in a windstorm! How do you feel about  compromising the agency’s accreditation? I mean, no background checks, no polygraphs – it’s like they’re handing out badges with a cereal box commitment. Kudos to your self-proclaimed ‘friends’ for handing me that info. Truth be told, you have no friends in the ECSO! Just people ensuring they keep the peace. All smiles in person, yet they’d rather shred their clothes diving out a window than stand for your charades! But what about the repercussions of the loss of morale in the agency, which leads to the loss of faith by the community?  Bypassing established procedures causes damage to the Sheriff’s credibility internally and externally. Adherence to policies and procedures eases everyone’s mind by being transparent. But when you start looking for ways to cover your ass while risking the agency’s security, i.e. the camera ‘live feed” to cover up your trysts and risking the accreditation is something Morgan would and did do. Your presence is the definition of corruption and yet you are too self absorbed to see it.  

So, about me getting flack for not being “down with the sisterhood’ to rally at your (questionable) honor. Pass! I’m all about supporting actual women out there doing the work. You waltzing through the agency as if you should have people kissing your feet while everyone else shows up for the work. Wtf!! Quite frankly, that’s a slap in the face to everyone. YOU WILL NEVER GET TO BE THE FIRST FEMALE SHERIFF ON YOUR BACK OR KNEES.That’s your story right now. That’s what your legacy is to your daughters. How proud you must make them!

I find zero value in you, and apparently, 81k others do too after visiting my blog. Newsflash: that spike is like the World Cup of readership compared to your little sleeping your way to the top Cinderella story.. Talk about a cautionary tale! But hey—continually ignoring the truth? Classic Whitney move! So I might receive a phone call from your boyfriend concerning this–but–who am I kidding, he’s riding the clueless train right alongside of you. Good luck with your little fairytale! It won’t last.